You know who’s stupid?
Co workers.
Yep, all of them…least 98% of them…stupid asses
“It is what it is”
Shut up with it is what it is…what is it then? eggs-ackly…you know what? It isn’t
These idiots at work always wanna grab hold to some stupid corporate jargon and run that shit into the ground
“Throw them under the bus”
By all means…get under there and see how they are doing so I could back it up over your stupid fat face.
And you know what you should do?
..Stop bringing your stank ass home cooking to the office!
Chillin..Minding my own business…clicky-clackin on the keyboard then you smell some oniony, cabbagey, southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole that some fuckface brought in from home
Got the damn office smellin like sweaty Bat Balls for a half hour…walkin round smilin
Plus…yo nasty asses coughin and sneezin all over the place and then dippin your swamp thing hands in the community cheese balls or animal crackers or whatever crap-tastic bulk ass Costco crap they bring in
Who eats that shit? You KNOW these people are trfilin…then it’s “Wow people are getting sick…” Wonder why cuz you puttin your Hand herpes all in everything.
What’s with the male adjustments?
Fukn men in the office just walk around and/or stand in front of you rubbin and pullin and adjustin dick …all blatant and shit
Who does that? Its like “I see you” what the hell?
All nonchalant like yeah so such and such called (Adjust , yank, pull, stretch) and they said…WHOA! Gon f’ round and bust one off and I don’t wanna be there… stop that.
Know what else I hate?
Shaking hands…I don’t like people as a rule…let alone touching them
Why is that the formal greeting? Why you gotta touch somebody? What does that do?
Esp. since you know they been adjusting, sneezin, coughin, prolly not wipin, etc etc…Get those nasty ass five fingaz of funk and fungus away from e
Better take this fist bump son..Better yet this head nod
Stop announcin what I’m eating too
…said this before. I know I got some Chick-Fil-A …it says it right here on the bad and carton in big ass Chick-Fil-A red font
So what make it your job to walk by and say “Got some Chick-Fil-A” No shit you fukin fukface
Or “Looks like somebody got some…” Nah, looks like somebody bout to get plapped ‘side the head with a stapler!
..And stop hovering over my grub…breathin and shit.
Unless:
You’re cheatin
You got caught cheatin
You know someone that’s cheatin or got caught cheatin
Someone in the office is fukin
Someone in the office is going to or got fired
Someone got beat up
Someone just came out the closet
We don’t have to work the next day and the office is closed
We find out what someone makes and it’s embarrassing or outlandish
The hot chick in the office got naked myspace or facebook pictures
The hot chick in the office wanna fuk me
I don’t care…shut your trap.
I don’t care to talk about:
How cold it is
How hot it is
The game last night that you didn’t watch cuz you’re not a sports fan
Whose birthday it is
Where you’re going
What you did over the weekend
What you did last night
What you want to do
Or anything that has to do with your stupid life (Unless you’re fine and bangin)
Ooo wee your kid said something last night and it was funny? Oooo Wee keep that between you and your snot nosed kid
Stop peddlin your stupid kids school shit at work too
Girl Scout cookies is one thing (Need them Thin Mints dun)
But the fukin: Candles, meat, popcorn, nuts, chocolate bars, fukin vacuums lol go bother your neighbors
…oh and just because you’re my supervisor don’t mean I’m orderin dick…I don’t care about what lil Emily is sellin
beautifulgyrlj
February 27, 2008
Awww u r sooo mean LMFAO.
I thought I was bad at work. U have me beat.
I hate when I’m n the break room chillin watching Tyra and some dickwad wants to come n and flap their traps.
The chicks I work with always got drama because all of em shackin it up. Therefore, everyday its new juice.
And I’m getting tired of all the old men at my job trying to get their holla on with me. Ughhhh the 40 and up crew!
mysTery
February 27, 2008
‘Dannggggg you mad huh?’ (Charm School) Lol, just messin with you!
Hope things are good with you…I mean besides the obvious.
12kyle
February 27, 2008
tellemwhyumad, son! LOL!!! Seriously, I feel where you’re coming from. The workplace is one of the most germ filled places that you’d ever want to be. And some people are downright slack. A few months ago, I was at work and I had to go take a leak. There was a dude in the stall who had just finished taking a dump. He was on his cell phone. This fool flushed the toilet, walked over to the sink, looked in the mirror, fixed his hair…and walked out the door. I looked at him like…”are you gonna wash your hands”? He stayed on his cell and walked out the door. I couldn’t believe it.
My co-workers are cool but they get mad at me when I don’t want to go lunch with them. Who wants to leave the office…only to talk about what’s going on in the office??? Not me. I’d rather be by my damn self. Call me anti-social but I just can’t do it.
@ beautifulgyrlj
That’s funny. The 40 and over crew need to see if THEY still got it. LOL
good post, bruh
Pretty Thick Chick
February 27, 2008
Dang Mr. Relaxation. Vent much? Eclectik Relaxation turned into Incredible E! Grrrr…get ‘em E!
eclectik
February 27, 2008
Ha! I’m not mad…I just observe things and add the funny!
TheDame
February 27, 2008
That was hilarious. But true.
harriet
February 27, 2008
“southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole” ROFL
“cuz you puttin your HAND HERPES all in everything” dead…just dead
“I know I got some Chick-Fil-A …it says it right here on the bad and carton in big ass Chick-Fil-A red font” Lord, have mercy! stop! just stop!!! LOL
Patrice
February 27, 2008
ctfu.. we are HERE with the potllucks, and warming food. Bastards have the whole office smelling like foot and ass with their leftovers and shit!
Lay Cameleon
February 27, 2008
Oh my gosh I think I jus fell in love with your personality….well your “realness”…your humor………I sware today some co-workers was gettin on my last damn nerves…….and i ran into your blog……….and i was bustin up laughin outload and didnt care who seen or heard!!!! YOU ARE DEFINATELY A MUST READ DAILY…………..
Lady Cameleon
February 27, 2008
…oh yeah HELLO my name is “LADY CAMELEON”………not lay cameleon…lmao…….
SimpleComplexity
February 27, 2008
lol I swear I can relate so much to what you’re saying today lol
I died laughing when I read the part about commenting on what you’re eating for lunch. SOOO TRUE!!! Why do people do that?!?!?
Nina
February 27, 2008
Stop being SO mean why don’t you!?LMBO
although…I DO feel you on the cross-contamination, male adjustments and hand shaking. People and their germs I am not down with.
Ok..so I need you to spill the beans. I wanna see (know) what’s in that man ( I mean messenger) bag of yours. You’ve been taggged. Check my blog for details
Charles
February 27, 2008
Hahahahaha…you’re wild. I observed all of that when I did my internship over the summer. But to make it worse, people felt the need to give me dumb ass names like ‘young blood’, or ‘slick’, or ‘junior’ or some shit like that. The name’s Charles. Get it tight, get it right. Oh, and pot luck’s are the worst. Don’t trust no one.
Wrknprogress
February 28, 2008
Talking about their kids gets to me too. I don’t have any to talk about, so I just sit there every now and again saying “Oh thats cute”
Funny post.
a.tiara
February 28, 2008
LMAO this sounds just like my job!!! lol If I have to laugh at one more corny ass joke I’m gonna go crazy!!! What is it with corporate america? I like people to leave me alone when I’m working..please talk to someone who cares cause I know I dont lol
Thanks e I needed the laugh
Shug
February 28, 2008
OMG…you’re hilarious! I feel you on the home cooking in the office though. Stanking up the whole room
xcentricpryncess
February 28, 2008
“oniony, cabbagey, southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole that some fuckface brought in from home” lol…this shit is too funny….and then you have to sit there and smell this crap for 30 minutes…and somebody else always comes past talking bout “Something smells good”…stop ya lying..all lies…lol
Ms. Behaving
February 28, 2008
I did a post yesterday that touched on JUST ABOUT EVERYONE of your workplace complaints…
Geared it specifically around people who get on my muh fuggin’ nerves. Good to know I’m NOT the only person who feels this way.
You got me over here crackin’ the hell up!!!
Jewells
February 28, 2008
What’s with the male adjustments?
Fukn men in the office just walk around and/or stand in front of you rubbin and pullin and adjustin dick …all blatant and shit
Who does that? Its like “I see you” what the hell?
All nonchalant like yeah so such and such called (Adjust , yank, pull, stretch) and they said…WHOA! Gon f’ round and bust one off and I don’t wanna be there… stop that.
I cannot stop laughing at that! You had me seriously falling out of my chair.
My chiropractor was notorious for adjusting in front of me like I don’t see that ish.
lrenee
February 28, 2008
eclectik
I thought I was bad but you got me beat. LOL
I am a germaphobe too. Can’t stand when people cough or sneeze around or on me. Especially on the plane. I am home with the kids so , I don’t deal with the daily BS in the office. But, I remember how much that use to piss me off. I mean who really give a crap about how your weekend was? I hate small talk.
Great Blog. I will come back to visit.
Paula D.
February 28, 2008
I am cracking up over here! I sooooo feel you on the workplace goings ons!!!!!
Roddykat
February 29, 2008
“Throw them under the bus”
-what’s funny is, this is usually said by the ones that would do the throwing. I get sick of hearing that ish at my job.
Chik-fil-a
- Great, now I have to go get me some. Hate the sandwich, love the nuggets. Weird, huh?
don
February 29, 2008
Zoe aint bullsh*ttin in that picture. Hella sexy.
And Im not too big on shaking hands either. Its not like they mean it anyways.
Monie
February 29, 2008
“And you know what you should do?
..Stop bringing your stank ass home cooking to the office!
Chillin..Minding my own business…clicky-clackin on the keyboard then you smell some oniony, cabbagey, southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole that some fuckface brought in from home
Got the damn office smellin like sweaty Bat Balls for a half hour…walkin round smilin”
I just died. Please come to my funeral.
Karrie B.
February 29, 2008
“Chillin..Minding my own business…clicky-clackin on the keyboard then you smell some oniony, cabbagey, southern fried curry deer antler meatloaf casserole that some fuckface brought in from home
Got the damn office smellin like sweaty Bat Balls for a half hour…walkin round smilin”
omgggggggggggggg yessssssssssssssss!!!!!!!! wtf yo?
-karrie b.