I can't stand women part 2

okay…the caked up makeup…that was one of my peeves…’da hell do you need all that make up on….okay i’ll admit..i got my wifey because i didn’t have cable…i’ll have to tell the story…

formerly sarccastik!!!!!!

dang I thought I dropped a comment my badd

I can’t stand women…

That don’t like to shop–Shopping is a drug.

With no fashion sense–But where will the hot messes I love to laugh at go?

That don’t keep a clean house–I’m borderline OCD when it comes to cleaning, plus that’s just trifling

That don’t shave their legs–I hate body hair

That don’t shave that either—Either it’s waxed to an inch of it’s life or shaved

With no tongue skills–Ehhh, I talk too much does that count?

That don’t text message-_You’re talking to the Text Queen of Arlingon

Are club regulars–I’m not like Cheers, but I do go out.

Are Bar hoppers–I did a couple of bar crawls in college some fun sh*t actually

That Drink more than me–**crickets**

That Smoke–Yuck

That doesn’t have cable—I need cable to live

That assumes without asking–You know what happens when people assume you make an Ass out of U and Me

with gaudy ass tattoos–One small tat on the back

That don’t wear sneakers–Just copped some crisp air ones

That don’t wear heels–I’m starting to lean away from flats

That has crusty heels–Nah the Koreans keep my feet looking tight son

That makes nasty chicken–even I cant mess up chicken

That wants to kiss after they eat something nasty–You mean you dont like Doritoes breathe?

That plays games (mind games)–Trix are for kids

That rock caked on makeup *lol*

That wears a lot of jewelry–I wear my good luck charm and earrings

That look like something stinks *lol*

That wears those spandex-looking tight around your calve and ankle jeans–F*cking leggings! I hate those damn things!

That’s never been in Crate and Barrel–Cute store

That don’t like Benetton, BCBG, and Arden B–LOVE IT

That don’t subscribe and comment on my blogs

That don’t like to shop(it’s my passion)

With no fashion sense(this goes for guys as well)

That don’t keep a clean house(nothing worse)

That don’t shave their legs(Nair® Bikini Cream – no nicks, cuts, or razor bumps. Removes hair below the skin’s surface in as little as 3 minutes.)

That don’t shave that either(Sensitive Bikini Cream to work gently — yet effectively — on even your tender areas.)

With no tongue skills(The perfect kiss would be slow at first, then it would speed up and full of passion and then all the darling little kisses would follow.)

That think all men are the same

That treat all men the same

That don’t text message(For a while my friend kept sending me texts meant for her boyfriend. I’m not sure how that happened, but I never told her. It would a little awkward because the texts were…. suggestive.)

Are club regulars

Are Bar hoppers

That Drink more than me(Chill Vodka in freezer – Cut a thin slice of green apple and stick on the rim of the glass and run it around the entire glass, Fill with Ice and Mix vigorously, Pour/ Strain into a frosted Martini glass and serve w/ or w/o ice. Ingredients: 1.) Top Shelf Vodka (Hangar One, Belvedere, Grey Goose) 2.) Apple Pucker 3.) Daily’s Hard Lemonade (for sour mix) 4.) Cointreau 5.) Green Apple(s) 6.) Ice – )

That Smoke(occasionnaly when M’Fkr’s works my last nerve,ole habits are hard to break)

That doesn’t have cable(gotta have cable)

That assumes without asking

with gaudy ass tattoos(okay,I have some but there hidden)

That don’t wear sneakers(okay I own one pair for running/walking)

That don’t wear heels(8′or higher)

That has crusty heels(pedicures by Ming lee $25.00)

That makes nasty chicken(okay,how can you jack up chicken)

That’s on myspace all day( After connecting with ole friends for a good month,go back and delete your MySpace.)

That’s in My space all day(Getta life)

That wants to kiss after they eat something nasty(I carry a toothbrush in my purse for that very reason)

That plays games (mind games)—-

That does not play games (Board games)—you got that new Monolopy??

That rock caked on makeup(why??)

That’s had 5 jobs in 5 years(stability is a must)

That wears a lot of jewelry(Beauty supply store jewlery at that)

That look like something stinks(they stink)

That stinks

That wears those spandex-looking tight around your calve and ankle jeans

That’s never been in Crate and Barrel

That don’t like Benetton, BCBG, Macy’s , Saks, nordstroms and Arden B

That don’t like me lol :p(love you E)

Leaving a commennt, and subscribed….I Love the “on myspace and IN MY SPACE” comment TOO DAMN funny! I love your blog and I like you. You broke it down no one can say you didn’t warn them. (HANDS CLAPPING)